Interference

It was another five weeks of lost time and hopes. When I got home, I found an emotional disaster.
Sabrina was used to having her way with her daddy, and in some ways, she resented my coming home. She'd been the mama these five weeks, and now I was back to undermine her position. I had a hard time reestablishing positions. She couldn't accept no from me. Old junky was home, interfering with her routine. She felt I was an outsider who visited occasionally, and she resented it.
There were more trips to Dr. Asin's office, more shots, dope, and heartaches. Dr. Asin scheduled me for an enucleation.
The eye was useless, but I couldn't accept losing it completely. The day of the surgery came. Dr. Asin said the eye removal might not end the pain.
My hopes pushed me forward. I wanted to see my eyeball before they sent it to the laboratory.
I was so drugged, I couldn't feel any pain, but I wasn't asleep. I heard everything they said in the operating room, and saw the shadows of the scalpels, tweezers and needles coming at me. I didn't care. I felt I wasn't in my body, I was observing the procedure being done on somebody else.
The little oxygen tubes moved away from my nostrils, and I was suffocating. I moved my head and tried to untie myself.
Dr. Asin fussed at me. "How can I work if you keep jerking? I've got scar tissue back here, and it isn't easy to remove. Calm down, it'll be over soon."
The last few minutes of surgery were the longest of my life. Finally, they removed the sterile packing covering my nose and mouth.
"I see why you couldn't breathe. Your oxygen hose moved off your nostrils." He put the eye in gauze and showed it to me.
I was disappointed. I expected it to be much bigger. Thank God, they got me off the torture table. I was doing so well, and was so awake, I was taken directly to my room.
Before the evening ended, I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I lifted my bandage to see the wound. I was surprised. There was redness and swelling, but the eyelid was closed. I tried to open it, but couldn't. It was paralyzed. I lowered the bandage and went to bed.

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